Brandon Lorbes as Mike Tysos, Donkey Kong, and Himself
Welcome back bitch! You up for another round?
I'm glad you're out your coma to hear how worse your raps sound
Fly like a butterfly? Sting like a bee?
Well I charge like a rhino and I punch like Muhammed Ali
Your little scene in Hangover was so fucking stupid
Don't make me diss your ass again, so just look kid
Just ask my buddy Funky who's the cool one in this fight
I spit so hard that you actually feel the rhymes of might
Soaring in like a plane that took down King Kong
So you can just suck my big, fat, long, Donkey Schlong
Don't try to spit back, the janitor will have hard work
Here's a dictionary, try to say some words right this time, jerk
I'll strangle you with that tie and shove bananas up your ass
Then I'll rip out your ear and just throw it in the trash
I'll Punch Out you and all of your little monkey boys
At least I didn't go ape shit on some Mini Mario Toys
You stole Mario's old bitch and you ran away when he just came in
Now you guys are like friends, what'd you do, suck his dick?
The Donkey Kong Country TV show makes you look ugly as hell
C'mon let's do this shit! Somebody ring the fucking bell
I'm King K Rooling what you gonna do nigga steal a bike?
That Candy Kong slut of yours looks like a fucking dyke!
You joined Nintendo just to get fame from Mario
Now why don't you take your stupid barrels and just go home?
Lets get on like me, Donkey Kong, its time to retire Mikey
In the Wii version of Punch Out, they replaced you with me
I'm the original, digital, principle animal of Nintendo
You're ass is more of a disappointment than fucking King Hippo
By the end, I'll take your belt, for I am the true heavyweight champ
The last battle you say youre a poet, BUT I DON'T GIVE A CRAP
Even Tiny Kong can kick your ass its pretty young for her age
So let's go Tyson, let's do this shit, let's take this to the cage
I held titles of WBC, WBA, and IBF at 20
Wanna bet if you can take this boxer down? Here, have a penny
Like I said, DK is short for dick, looks like you haven't changed a bit
I should come out of retirement just so I can make you quit
My name is M Tyson, not that guy from Street Fighter
Your rapping is even lamer than you in Super Mario Strikers
94 wins before and now its up to 95
Donkey, don't think you're gonna take down Kid Dynamite
Your boxing style Peek a Boo, is the biggest pussy style
And I'm gonna embarrass you more than you little rape trial
The Baddest Man on the Planet? Who the hell came up with that?
I should call you Chunky Kong cause you're getting a bit fat
Ok I admit, Donkey Kong 64 was a good game
But Donkey Kong Countries 2 and 3, those were really lame
I'll Klap Trap you into a choke hold and then pummel you to the ground
You ready to rumble bitch? Who has the worse raps now?
Don't underestimate the power that the DK Punch has to bring
You won't win this rematch you ass, you're raps do nothing
Aw you gonna cry? WELL C'MON STAND THE FUCK UP!!!
Its not like getting spanked from Cranky Kong was enough
- punch* (Tyson gets KO'd)
WHY DON'T YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP?
Whoa dude what the hell?
It's just a rap battle!
I'm sorry its just he took it to far
I couldn't help it
You...gotta work on that anger...
That was just intense...
Dude what you...
ROLL TO THE CREDITS STUPID